It can be hard to recognise that we are not our thoughts.
Especially when those thoughts are hurtful, negative, and self-reprimanding. But so often it leaves us feeling a sense of resentment towards ourselves — feeling like we’re not good enough, we can’t do anything right, or that nobody likes us. These negative thoughts of self-hatred and resentment stem from a lack of self-appreciation and self-esteem. And they can leave us feeling pretty deflated, low, and miserable.
How to boost self appreciation and combat self-loathing.
Unfortunately, there’s no instant switch to turn them off. But you shouldn’t have to live with these feelings. And you definitely don’t have to hold onto them. While there’s no switch, there is a way we can learn to turn them off. Most of us have had these thoughts at some point throughout our lives. Sometimes things in life are hard and we often put that pressure on ourselves.
The first thing to remember is that these are just thoughts. And the more we ruminate over them, the more we start to believe them. But recognising that you have the ability to improve your thought patterns and change
these negative thoughts into positive and nurturing patterns is already the first step towards self-improvement and empowerment. The next steps might take a bit more time and patience, but they are simple steps towards bridging the gap between where you are now, and where you want to be. And they are steps you can take at any moment, starting right now. Today.
“But recognising that you have the ability to improve your thought patterns and change these negative thoughts into positive and nurturing patterns is already the first step towards self-improvement and empowerment.“
1. Reflect
Reflecting on our thoughts can be a powerful form of self-therapy. When you reflect on your own thoughts, you might see that those thoughts are not actually you. You may feel them, and they may be a part of your existence in this moment, but they are not who you are. They are a reflection of the world around you right now, a reflection of your external conditions. Learning to see that these negative thoughts you have stem from external sources and not from within can take away some of their control. This can help you to see that these patterns are not truths, they simply came from experiences or negative voices around you that at some point in your life, made you feel less than worthy. Once you identify this, you no longer have to listen to them anymore and you can start to switch on the positive noise.
2. Reach out
Reflecting on where your thought patterns come from can often be difficult. Reaching out to a therapist or someone close to you can be a good way to help you uncover the roots of these thought patterns with a bit of extra support. It can be hard to reach out, especially when dealing with negative thoughts. But, having someone you trust to talk to and help you create a plan to cope can help take some of the weight off and aid in releasing some of those heavy thoughts. You don’t have to take the inner path alone – healing can flourish in an environment of safety and love. Reaching out and letting someone into your space can help you with a net of safety to get through the challenges. If you don’t feel comfortable talking to anyone in your inner circle, there are online resources and communities you can reach out to — and a place right here for you to do that. If you want to talk, release, or you just need a hand to hold, you are always welcome to do that here.
3. Meditate
Meditating can be hard. Especially when your mind is racing with thoughts you’re trying to avoid. But meditating is about noticing your thoughts, becoming more mindful, and creating space in your mind to make conscious choices about how you react to them. Deciding to acknowledge them, ignore them, or breathe through them, can be a useful tool for re-shifting negative patterns. Re-shifting these thoughts through meditation allows room for positive, self-appreciative thoughts to flow through. There’s a lot of evidence behind the science of neurological re-wiring through meditation that shows you can physically change the functioning of your brain, including thought patterns and emotions. You can try a guided meditation, or simply sit in a quiet, comfortable space with your thoughts. There are many ways to meditate — if you can find what works best for you, you can truly change your life.
4. Write
Putting your thoughts down in writing can often be exactly what you need to release them from your mind. When negative thoughts begin to pop up, grab a pen and a journal, and let them out of your mind. When you pour your thoughts onto the page, you often find you’ll gain a new perspective and start to better understand where they are coming from. The more you understand where they are really coming from, the more control you have to break the pattern and replace it with better, reaffirming positive thoughts about yourself. You can also do this here.
5. Spend time with people who make you feel good about yourself
Not only do negative thoughts almost always stem from external sources, but the same can happen with positive ones. Spending time with people you know will support you and make you feel better about yourself, will make you start to think about things more positively too. You can choose to surround yourself with positive people who value and inspire you and combat the negative noise.
It takes time.
“The more time you spend consciously trying to replace negative thoughts, the more you focus on positive ones. And the more you start to listen to them.”
Remember, changing thought patterns can take time. But you don’t have to let them control you. Start flipping your thoughts of negativity and replacing them with positive ones — small or big, start swapping. The more time you spend consciously trying to replace negative thoughts, the more you focus on positive ones.
And the more you start to listen to them. And the more you’ll increase your esteem and self-appreciation. It takes time, patience, and effort, but one day you’ll look back and realise you did it. Remember that you are worth so much more than your thoughts are telling you. You are worth so much more than you are giving yourself credit for. Start flipping, and keep rising.
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